Carolina in My Mind

This morning, I officially decided that I'm ready and excited to move to Chapel Hill.  I was getting ready for work, a little groggy from a night of going away festivities with my neighbors, and James Taylor's "Carolina in my Mind" came on the radio.  I found myself standing amongst a ton of boxes with tears filling my eyes.  I quickly was brought back to my college graduation day when the same song came on the radio as I was packing to leave UNC.  I really do get to be a Carolina student again!

Being that I am a lover of ritual, I deeply appreciated the neighborhood party that was thrown together last night.  It started out with yoga in the courtyard with Katie, the yoga instructor.  With our hands rested over our hearts, she asked my friends to send good thoughts my way for my new journey.  I could feel a warm feeling of deepest gratitude run through my body. 

After yoga, we celebrated the evening with lots of wine, beer, and delicious summer food.  I made a pasta salad that matched the hot and humid weather perfectly!

Bernard Street Pasta Salad
1 pound farfalle pasta
Freshly ground black pepper
1 tablespoon olive oil
1 yellow squash, sliced into 1/4-inch thick discs
1 zucchini squash, sliced into 1/4-inch thick discs
1 cup diced sun-dried tomatoes
1 cup packed fresh basil leaves
1/2 cup fresh packed parsley leaves

Dressing:
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
2 garlic cloves, lightly crushed with the side of a knife blade, and quartered
1 teaspoon stone ground mustard
1 teaspoon dried oregano
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

Boil the pasta in salted water until al dente and drain well. Toss with ground black pepper and olive oil.  Cook zucchini and squash in a small amount of olive oil for 5 minutes over medium heat.

For the dressing, add the vinegar to a blender and replace the lid. Turn on the blender add, 1 at a time through the feed opening, garlic, mustard, oregano, basil, salt, and black pepper. Leaving the blender running, add the olive oil in a slow thin stream.

Toss together the pasta, yellow squash, zucchini, sun-dried tomatoes, basil and parsley with enough of the dressing to coat. Serve any additional dressing on the side.

Transitions and Worries

Friends, I am so sorry that I've abandoned my blog recently.  I've been trying to tie up lots of loose ends before I move to Chapel Hill this weekend.  More packing and errands, less cooking and blogging. 

I just can't believe that I will be an Orange County resident in less than a week.  I will go from working in the real world to living in a student bubble in Chapel Hill.  I'm so excited about it too, but I'm also terrified.  I get anxious with transitions... I get this feeling in my chest that let's me know that I'm stepping into new territory.  My heart says, "This is what you've been waiting and working for."  My mind says, "Whoa, slow down little lady.  Who do you think you are for changing your life?"

One thing really comforted me today though.  It's a letter that a 22-year-old complete stranger wrote to her 40-year-old self.  I found it on Cassie Boorn, a blog I check out every now and then.  The writer of the letter worries a lot just like I do.  I love the wisdom that she decides to pass along to her older self.  Enjoy!

Dear 40 year old Cassie,

I think about you often. I wonder where you are in your life, who you are with, and what you are doing.

And as it is our nature I worry. I worry that you aren’t happy. I worry that you aren’t where I imagine you to be. And often, I worry that you are. I worry that you are lonely. I worry that you don’t take care of yourself. I worry that you settled.

I know that we tend to hold on to the past but I ask you please don’t play the “should have” “would have” games. Trust me, you did everything you thought was right. You did your best. I can assure you, because right now? I am doing the best that I can.

Please, don’t think back to the “good old times,” and reminisce of life in your 20’s. You know things now. You are sure about things now. The only thing I am sure about? Well, I am not even sure that I am sure about anything. It is scary. Your 20’s are scary. I am a little bit scared.

Now that we got all of that out of the way. Let’s talk about your 40’s. You better be traveling. I know, you probably are working really hard. You probably don’t have the time. You may even have a family. But seriously? We promised our self we would travel to Bali, and Greece. We talked about Italy and France and even fantasized about Australia. Get. Moving.

Don’t give up your passions. Don’t write me off as young and naïve. I know I am a little crazy. My ideas are big. But that is ok, so is the world. So just keep slaving away. Talk to everyone you meet. Share your ideas and your passions. Don’t let them gather dust. And for the love of God don’t become trapped in everyday routine

I hope that you are happy. I hope that you achieved your dreams. I hope that Aiden is doing well as a 24 year old man. (holy cow!) I hope that everything came around full circle and that you notice the small things in life.

I also hope the government didn’t l censor technology and take this letter away from you. (Again, I worry)

P.S. I apologize for killing your chance of having a metabolism. Yo-Yo dieting was the thing to do. And the tanning beds? Sorry about that too. And the tattoo we sport? Just roll with it…

I hope you are well.

Love Always,

The 22 year-old you.

The really great moments...

One thing that I have certainly learned over the past year is that life tends to be really hard for a lot of people (especially during these tough economic times.)  People can certainly be inundated with daily worries and anxiety about whether they are going to get a job, raise good kids, be able to pay the bills, etc...

Ten months ago, I would respond to my customers with a "stay positive and keep on trucking" kind of attitude.  I've learned though that this response is not the best one.  In fact, I've found that people just want me to listen and to lend any guidance that I can.  Too much positivity can be downright condescending sometimes.  Barbara Ehrenreich's new book talks a lot about this... I highly recommend reading it.

On the other hand, sometimes in life something really great and fun happens.  A sweet girl is proposed to on Wake Forest's campus by her one great love or a girl who has been single for quite awhile falls for a fisherman during a women's fly fishing weekend.  These are the moments that make everything else seem so trivial.

The past few days, I've been in the mountains yet again.  Jumping off more waterfalls, hiking to beautiful places, and fishing a lot (with that fisherman)... AND I caught an awesome rainbow trout.  These are the fun times that I look forward to amongst all of life's hassles!

Basil Pesto

2 c. packed fresh basil leaves, minced

2 large cloves garlic, sliced
1/2 c. pine nuts or walnuts
2/3 c. olive oil
3/4 c. freshly grated Parmesan cheese (optional)

Place all ingredients in blender and process until smooth. Transfer to jar and cover with film of olive oil (air is basil pesto's enemy). Seal with tight fitting lid. Use right away, refrigerate up to 3 months, or freeze. Stir oil into pesto before using.