Transitions and Worries

Friends, I am so sorry that I've abandoned my blog recently.  I've been trying to tie up lots of loose ends before I move to Chapel Hill this weekend.  More packing and errands, less cooking and blogging. 

I just can't believe that I will be an Orange County resident in less than a week.  I will go from working in the real world to living in a student bubble in Chapel Hill.  I'm so excited about it too, but I'm also terrified.  I get anxious with transitions... I get this feeling in my chest that let's me know that I'm stepping into new territory.  My heart says, "This is what you've been waiting and working for."  My mind says, "Whoa, slow down little lady.  Who do you think you are for changing your life?"

One thing really comforted me today though.  It's a letter that a 22-year-old complete stranger wrote to her 40-year-old self.  I found it on Cassie Boorn, a blog I check out every now and then.  The writer of the letter worries a lot just like I do.  I love the wisdom that she decides to pass along to her older self.  Enjoy!

Dear 40 year old Cassie,

I think about you often. I wonder where you are in your life, who you are with, and what you are doing.

And as it is our nature I worry. I worry that you aren’t happy. I worry that you aren’t where I imagine you to be. And often, I worry that you are. I worry that you are lonely. I worry that you don’t take care of yourself. I worry that you settled.

I know that we tend to hold on to the past but I ask you please don’t play the “should have” “would have” games. Trust me, you did everything you thought was right. You did your best. I can assure you, because right now? I am doing the best that I can.

Please, don’t think back to the “good old times,” and reminisce of life in your 20’s. You know things now. You are sure about things now. The only thing I am sure about? Well, I am not even sure that I am sure about anything. It is scary. Your 20’s are scary. I am a little bit scared.

Now that we got all of that out of the way. Let’s talk about your 40’s. You better be traveling. I know, you probably are working really hard. You probably don’t have the time. You may even have a family. But seriously? We promised our self we would travel to Bali, and Greece. We talked about Italy and France and even fantasized about Australia. Get. Moving.

Don’t give up your passions. Don’t write me off as young and naïve. I know I am a little crazy. My ideas are big. But that is ok, so is the world. So just keep slaving away. Talk to everyone you meet. Share your ideas and your passions. Don’t let them gather dust. And for the love of God don’t become trapped in everyday routine

I hope that you are happy. I hope that you achieved your dreams. I hope that Aiden is doing well as a 24 year old man. (holy cow!) I hope that everything came around full circle and that you notice the small things in life.

I also hope the government didn’t l censor technology and take this letter away from you. (Again, I worry)

P.S. I apologize for killing your chance of having a metabolism. Yo-Yo dieting was the thing to do. And the tanning beds? Sorry about that too. And the tattoo we sport? Just roll with it…

I hope you are well.

Love Always,

The 22 year-old you.